Boundaries in adult dating relationships
Let people know that what you choose to divulge – unless non-disclosure presents a direct health risk or is otherwise threatening – is at your discretion.
Communication is key in any relationship, but a relationship is not a therapist’s couch.
This could encompass cooling off periods, second chances, living arrangements, all the way to the “let’s stay friends… Whatever it is, if a loved one knows where we stand, we can both end the relationship on quieter, less shouty terms. These are all things a lover will need to know – and will want to know – so that both of you not only feel comfortable in your own skins, but around each other.
Time, even among lovers, is finite, so the questions become: What are your time boundaries? In the age of i Phones and social media, it’s necessary to discuss how much access a lover has to your digital presence.
We’re us, we’re real, and we have needs; needs which are easy to overlook by someone else if that someone puts us on a pedestal.
Adding to a relationship unit is a huge deal and shouldn’t be left to chance.
Talk about who and what you’re willing to allow past your boundaries into the relationship. As with tolerances, a discussion early-on about what we will and will not do in the event things don’t work out might save loads of pain and drama at the end.
Setting basic boundaries on how much each other’s family interaction impacts the relationship will prevent a lot of emergency restoration later.
Your lover will never like all of your friends, nor you theirs, but that doesn’t stop a lot of people from trying to determine who the other can and can’t have as friends.