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PART 3: Just Friends » As Christians in dating relationships, we want to avoid hurting one another and dishonoring Christ by “defrauding” (see NASB translation of 1 Thessalonians 4:6) our brothers and sisters in Christ by implying — through word or action — a higher level of commitment to that person than we have made before God.Because this sort of (perhaps unintentional) deception is a particular temptation in a dating context, we need to be deliberate about avoiding it.This will provide you a chance to get to know him or her well and will also provide a buffer and accountability against getting too emotionally intimate too early.Many people want to start out a relationship by spending a huge amount of time alone together.Let me say it again: We’re trying to make intentions clear, here, not asking anyone to commit to go the distance with no information.There are biblical and unbiblical reasons for a man to initiate with a woman, and there are biblical and unbiblical reasons for turning a man down.
So with all that said, let’s consider how the principle of caring for one another well in the early stages of a relationship might look.
Guys, don’t wait until you’ve had lunch or dinner or “hung out” one-on-one four or five times before you let her know what’s going on.
The idea is to remove that period of confusion or vulnerability for the woman by being forthright about what level of intention or commitment exists (a la 1 Thessalonians 4).
You probably won’t know at this stage how things are going to ultimately turn out regarding marriage (that’s why you date), so you need not communicate that right away.
But you should know what you’re trying to find out and what your intentions are — that is what you, as the man, must be clear about.