Dating ex husband and boyfriend
Beaton would advise people who are upset when their exes move on: "Put this person in your past where he belongs, think of what you've learned from the experience, and get busy finding another partner who appreciates you."Your ex did not get an upgrade.
The person they're dating now is not necessarily smarter, more attractive, or kinder than you. Comparing yourself to your ex's new partner, whether to wonder if they're better than you or to wonder if they're similar to you, will lead you down the wrong line of reasoning.
However, how quickly you get into a relationship isn't a measure of how desirable you are. It's not necessarily the most attractive or likable people who get into relationships the most easily.
Your ex just happened to stumble upon someone else before you did. When my ex first got a new girlfriend, I feared that it endangered the friendship we formed post-breakup.
Remember that so many people love & support you & we are all IMMENSELY PROUD OF YOU!!
A lot of my friends have confessed they've felt the same way, especially when they're forced to find out through social media.
Discomfort with an ex publicly pairing up again is also acknowledged in pop culture; after Marnie breaks up with Charlie on , she obsesses over the other woman she sees in his Facebook photos."Most people don't want to feel expendable, rejected, or out of control," sex and relationships therapist Cathy Beaton tells Bustle.
"Maybe she's just a friend," I thought — until I saw comments from her friends like "he's a cutie! With the first ex, I still relied on him for emotional support the way I did when we were dating, and seeing him with someone else made me wonder if we could still have as close a relationship.
Plus, when I broke up with him, he said he refused to move on and planned to marry me — a promise he obviously couldn't keep, but it planted in the back of my mind the assumption that if I ever had a change of heart, he would be there.