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“It felt like we were long lost friends.” After a few months, their friendship evolved into a romance.
She met Dave’s three children, who were all under 7, and became close to them very quickly. “There seemed to be this need by everyone around them to constantly check in and ask, ‘Are you still sad? Oh, that’s awful.’ And this would be on days when they were happy and doing great.
You’ll see widowers who date months or even weeks after their wife dies.
It’s like they go out there and say, ‘Oh, you’re pretty. ’ They end up getting into relationships they aren’t ready for.” Keogh shares this insight not just from talking to thousands of women over email and through the private Facebook group he runs, Dating a Widower, but also from personal experience.
They found that 25 months after the spouse’s death, 61 percent of men were either remarried or involved in a new romance, compared to only 19 percent of women.“They think their lives are broken and they have this need to go out and fix it,” Keogh says of the recent widowers he’s met or heard stories about.“In their minds, fixing it means starting to date again.As a human, you want to show compassion and sensitivity, she explains.But as a romantic partner, you don’t want to be making out on the couch while gazing at an urn filled with another woman’s ashes—an object that has been the source of many arguments in their relationship, and even a brief breakup. I don’t want to know what her favorite perfume was.’ I don’t want to live in the shadow of someone else.” Members of the group spoke with Upvoted on basis of anonymity.