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When I was recently separated, I was sitting around one night and I got a call from a friend of mine, asking me to meet her, her husband and “some of his work buddies” at a local bar. I walked out the door in a pair of jeans that I probably couldn’t get one leg into today, and a sleeveless top that showed off my slim (at the time) arms.My kids were on vacation with my ex, so I had no child care issues. When I walked into the bar, my friend came rushing over to me.It’s a well known fact that every single woman drops at least 10 pounds the minute she becomes recently separated. She gets upset and is unable to eat frequently, she’s stressed about the unknown, the attorney fees, and how her kids are doing. Most people would say they feel confident, sexy, that they love the feeling of their clothes practically falling off of them. ’ I looked in the mirror one day and I felt really, really old and tired. I didn’t feel like I was attractive on the inside or outside. I was a stay at home mom: I hadn’t had a job in 6 years.She’s busy, or she might have just started working again. And lastly, the recently separated woman is dating again. Most would say they see themselves as being more attractive, right? But, let me take you into the mind of the recently separated 40 something woman. I had zero self esteem when it came to my professional ability, and figured the only skills I had now were diaper changing, bottle feeding and house cleaning.Fun and Excitement The definition of fun and excitement itself will change, especially if the new step parent does not have kids.If the kids are in sports you will now get to follow some new sports teams.As with anything new, practice is needed or in this case just feeling comfortable with this new situation.
But, he’ll be the first to tell you, it wasn’t always a piece of cake.For example, when at home everyone gets along and does activities together, but in public the child may ignore the step parent and keep a distance.The reason is because being in public is a less frequent occurrence when compared to being at home in private.I was a newly separated divorced girl who had gone from hopeless, insecure and timid, to confident, poised and ready to face the world as an older version of my best self. By the way, I’m pretty happy in life right now, and I’ve gained back the 10 pounds. Check out, “Honey, I Want A Divorce” or “Dating Over 50: Are We In No-Man’s Land? Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor.I always tell people, it’s such a shame that you lose weight when you are unhappy. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.